how I fall

We've been through this before. I like my men a certain height, hair color, weight, eye color and even restrict dating criteria to one of about 11 majors (counting each of the engineering majors separately). I made generalizations about their personality, ambition, intelligence, relationship with their family...well anything really I could in order to narrow down what types of men I am attracted to. Why? Not sure, but we humans do like to put behaviors and people into nice little categories and make an excuse for efficiency.


Biggest thing I missed? How I met the last two guys I really liked (one that was a strong fling, one that I realized I may have been in love with for a while), and then "the ex". They didn't all share the same height or major or overall demeanor.

What made me attracted to these guys: (in chronological order from past to present)

1. getting hopelessly lost while walking to a teacher's office hours and being walked that direction. being asked if I wanted to come along to a party when I didn't have friends

2. making me feel instantly welcome at a party where I didn't know anyone. inviting me a 4th of July party when I didn't have plans or that many friends (because I was new to the city)

3. helping me look everywhere for my purse when I thought someone had stolen it (a camera was stolen there the night before)

These were the moments I started feeling an inexplicable attraction to these men. Something really struck me about them being thoughtful, caring and very geniune in their efforts. None of these guys were doing it to get in my pants (well, at least not immediately). All of them had met me either 30 seconds before or for less than 24 hours. I'm not sure how to characterize that trait. I sure as hell can't begin to imagine how to predict for or isolate and find that behavior. I think this means I'm meant to be single until that moment that fate intervenes when I'm lost, have lost something, or need a friend. My destiny is to wait it out.

First Day at New Job

me: so, today in a meeting with the managing director (head honcho) and EVERYONE in our section (40 people) this girl was talking about how she came back to the floor (division) after a short stint somewhere else

now as a support position

the MD goes "you just cant stay away from us can you?"

girl: "nope, just like crack"

Beth: oh wow

me: or "its like crack"

it was so innapropriate

but people laughed

MD laughed

AWKWARDLY

Beth: that's good

me: but she wasnt immediately fired

Beth: yay!

me: also

my mentor has like 2 things on his desk/in his office

this is one

http://www.upcounty.com/store/product/1626/Coors-Light,-12-1pk-Can-24Z-%28Solid-Case%29/

Beth: ?

Coors Light?

me: oh yes

unopened/full can

Beth: >

?

me: oh, in the 5 other desks I saw

one of them had thishttp://img.alibaba.com/photo/100948714/Corona_Beer_33cl.jpg

Beth: I'm confused

me: Corona beer

unopened

Beth: yeah

me: not sure the relevance

Beth: I'm confused

me: or appropriateness

Beth: that doesn't seem very professional

yeah

me: but of the 8 desks I saw, 2 beers.

already got invited to a bar crawl

at 10 am Saturday

these kids know how to party

my mentor won 12 rounds of beerpong this weekend

mentor/semi-boss

also, people take their cell phones to meetings

no heels, all flats

and I heard about 4 curse words today

Sent at 10:59 PM on Monday

Random thought of the day

Through facebook accidental findings/semi-stalking I have realized that almost every guy I didn't want to date in high school is now dating a very pretty girl. Guess that's a good thing? :)

Lingerie shopping = bad bad bad

Newest lesson I learned about myself and love:

When I am buying lingerie, it means I really like a boy, who makes me feel insecure about whether or not he really likes me.





Next time any of you get wind of me thinking of buying lingerie, tell me to STOP, drop the lingerie, and advance to the nearest bar where I have to buy a random guy a beer for $4. Do not allow me to pass go. Do not let me collect $200 (or, spend $200...).

The Forehead Kiss

As I was telling my friend Sam, I spent all day googling "What do forehead kisses mean" because a certain guy a friend of mine thinks is in love with me was dancing with me while giving me a lot of kisses on the forehead and the cheeks. I assumed the way he treated me was the way he treated any other friend and the way that anyone treated their platonic friend of 6 years.

Google yielded the following:

Apparently it means anything from

I'm madly in love with you

to

I am very fond of you

to

I see you as a good friend

So, as you can see, I am as confused as ever, except that I know that said boy does care for me.

I thought back to my own life and realized that the only people who have done that (there haven't been many) were either boyfriends or ex-boyfriends.


What do you guys think? What is the meaning behind the elusive kiss on the forehead?

10 Things Your Man Never Needs to know

Cosmo "list". Funny. Relevant. Defines Need to Know.

1. The number of guys you slept with. (Really wish I knew this rule one year ago)

2. What happened that time you got food poisoning (grosss but hehe)

3. Where you learned your signature sex move.

4. That no matter how happy you are, you still pine for your ex—especially sexually. (Well, that's just f-ing awkward)

5. Mustache bleaching (not to mention what happens when your bikini waxer takes a long vacay)
Good rule to know...

6. That every once in a while you snoop around his e-mail, call log and/or browser history—just to see what he really thinks of you.
Too girly stalker for me to ever try

7. Your best sex—unless, of course, it was with him.
But what if he keeps asking about it....I'm such a bad liar.

8. That “Braceface” was the nicest of the nicknames you had in elementary school.
Yup, would totally tell the man of my dreams that.

9. Just how hot you think his friend is. Nothing good can come of his worrying that you’re seeing his best bud’s face in bed and not his.
GREAT rule to know. Good thing I don't date men with friends I find more attractive. Either they're hot or they have ugly friends. It works out though

10. That you once hooked up with your best guy friend.
Really?! That's something we can hide from our boyfriends. No. Way.

Shopping, continued...

Favorite cult sleepwear set:

Honeydew's Mesh Camisole and Boyshort Set

Boyshorts are also my new favorite type of underwear. Comfortable and sexy without trying too hard. I just had to dig up this set in order to buy for a non-special occasion with someone I am not intimate with. Yeah, don't ask.

Spring SpLuRe

Just dropped a lot of dough on this baby from Guess. It's sooooo pretty though.....

















Trends I love:


1. Plain t-shirts: who KNEW that one day t-shirts would make a fabulous come-back? I'm certainly enjoying the tee with sexy blazer on top look. Comfy, washable, but unforgiving on body flaws-- which is why I'm still shopping for my perfect white tee

2. Blazer and other menswear: I have owned the male-esque, unfitted and long blazer since early high school (when even a semblance of fashionable style was accidental) and always had a soft-spot for menswear

3. Sequins and embellishments: quoting my best friend: "It seems like you were getting ready for this to come back into style for a while now". Yes, I love and have always loved sequins and embellishments, and now I can buy it without looking like a
pre-teen shopping at Wet Seal.
If you want to try sequins without going outside your fashion comfort zone, I recommend a pretty pastel colored or metallic sequin tank to be worn with a classy cardigan or long sweater

4. Big bold flower jewelry: classy, gorgeous, and dresses up any t-shirt or shirt dress instantaneously. Easy addition to any outfit for those fashion-handicapped like me.

5. Business Professionals recently got some love from Fashion Week

According to a WSJ article "Fashion's New Muse: The CEO": "In Milan, Gucci, Jil Sander, Etro, Marni, Dolce & Gabbana, Prada, Bottega Veneta and Aquilano Rimondi all showed elegant, classic versions of women's suits—tailored jackets with either pants or skirts to match."
"Linda Fargo, Bergdorf Goodman's fashion director, said she welcomes the "return to classic tailoring." What followed at Gucci was a lot of matching gray suiting—tailored jackets and long pants—and an emphasis on texture and luxury fabrics."

Dear designers, thank you for finally noticing that along with movie stars, trophy wives, and socialites, and sheiks, the only other people who can afford your clothing are suit-wearing, paycheck earning women in business.


I'm in a shopping mode, which clearly means something is bugging me. Right now, it's trying to figure out how to tell my parents that I want to move to New Orleans for a few months. My mom has her happiness somehow wrapped up in me being close by, which is cute, and understandable, but it makes leaving very hard when I do come home. That means either I stay away for a while or just deal with breaking my parents' heart anytime I want to go anywhere.

Yeah, no easy decision there.

So, I'll just shoe and jewelry shop instead :)

Morning Person or Night Owl?

Excerpt from a WSJ article:

Night owls are more creative, more flexible and more caffeinated, studies have found. Morning people are healthier, more conscientious and more emotionally stable. They're not as much fun at parties, but morning people run the world, and at least part of me aspires to be a morning person.

Cancun

I just got back from 4 nights in Cancun with the family.

Highlights:

Worst Pickup Line from Cancun:
Douchey Guy: "I go to Law School....at Seton Hall"
Me: wonders why I judge men instantly by the caliber of their law school but choosing to ignore that and give him a chance "Oh, they have a good basketball program, right"
Douchey Guy: Ignores my question "I'm going to be very rich."

Seton Hall is a third-tier law school. He won't be making that much money. He has no knowledge of college basketball. And he feels the need to use potential money he may be making in a recession year as a pickup line. Oh, and as BChan pointed out, he's from New Jersey.


Best Pickup Line from Cancun:
Guy: "You are gorgeous"

Did I mention this was in a British accent and made me giggle like a 16 year old girl?! He was hot. He kept telling me that he was from Pennsylvania and I drunkenly kept arguing with him that he couldn't be from Pennsylvania, not with that accent. After lots of drunk arguing back and forth it turned out that, yes, he WAS from Pennsylvania but studying at Penn State there, and the number he gave me did not require a 1 before dialing, or two 1s before dialing, because it was a Pennsylvania number, NOT a Mexico number. I'm fairly sure he got me to memorize his number while completely intoxicated. No phone. No pen or paper.

Grey's Anatomy's back to its raunchy roots

Quote of the moment:

Meredith to her little sis:

Lil Sis: "It's just sex. There are no feelings involved."
Mer: "Riiiight, because you are a no feelings kinda girl. Your heart lives in your vagina".






I think both I and most of my readership knows exactly what that means.

Happy Spring Break Chicas.

Random Musings

1. The Hangover is one of those movies you end up watching with people who's company you really enjoy - I didn't watch it until my last weekend in MN. But then saw it once in New Orleans and once more in Northern VA. Trish, save that Hangover v-card for a relaxing Sunday with your bffs.

2. What I lack in a [fantastic] body I make up for with energy and my smile. (Packing for Cancun right now).

3. I will be spending the next 5 days at a 5 star all-inclusive resort in Cancun with my family. O the perks of unemployment

4. "I gotta feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas can put me in a party/happy mood no matter where I am or what I am doing. But especially great for trip-pregames.

5. "Will you be my LinkedIn contact" is the new "Will you be my facebook friend?"

6. I was talking to my friend Zero about potential certifications I can pick up or more graduate schools I can go to in order to make myself more marketable.
He told me to approach jobs like I would with a guy I really like.
My answer: "Either get really drunk or stay sober and just act REALLY awkward around them?"
His answer: "Be confident, Do your research, and never let the ugly girl win."
Me: "Oh. I like your way better."

QUOTE of the week:
BH: my diet is a lot of fucking and the ocasional drunk swim in the ocean for cardio
BH: i call it the porn star diet

The Secrets of Happy Couples

Cosmo runs articles once every few months or so (less common than their monthly rewrite of "how to keep your man happy by doing weird kinky things in bed") about secrets of happy couples. They talk about how you have to keep your significant other happy by reminding him of how sexy you think he is, putting out in bed, not being spiteful during fights. Happy couples apparently always try to be kind to one another, take time out of their busy work lives to reconnect, try not to say mean things during fights, and make lots of time for love-making to keep the "spark".

This brings me to the newest phenomenon in dating: "Faking it on Facebook". Dear fake happy couples, stop putting up pictures of "the unit" in your profile pictures, talking about how happy you are that you are dating the person in your status, announcing anniversaries and talking about how you are looking forward to more in your statuses, and in general announcing every little thing that your significant other has done for you or bought for you ever. Please also stop with the vacation albums where you stand in front of exceedingly touristy landmarks and pose as if this may end up on your future wedding invitations, because you're probably not engaged yet. Statistically, you probably won't end up engaged to everyone you take these types of pictures with, they will just stay with you in your bedroom as reminders of what didn't work, what you could have done differently, the good times, and eventually lead to a mental breakdown of sorts if you choose not to do the healthy thing and burn them in the fireplace or feed them to your ex's dog when they're not looking.

The reason these "happy couples" need to stop publicizing their relationship is as follows:

1. Usually, if I know anything about the people in couples pictures showing coupley bliss, I know that they're miserable, insecure in their relationships, have trust issues, cheat on each other constantly, and fight continuously in between shots (the pictures kind, not the drinking kind - which may make them nicer and happier)

2. No one cares.

3. It makes breakups via facebook relationship status ---> single super embarrassing.

4. Makes single friends feel bad for not having someone to take cheesy pictures with

5. It's a coverup that most therapists would agree is unhealthy.

6. See #2.

Today

Today: I watched the New Orleans Saint's Super Bowl Parade through the Central Business District of New Orleans on two forms of media (both on TV and a live stream on my computer). Teared up a bit thinking about the city.

Today: I watched an Indian movie with the family about life and school and doing things your own way. Somehow, even though it was my first Indian movie in years, it's just the kind of movie I needed.

Today: I failed (again) to unpack my boxes from moving

Today: I considered how ridiculous it is that there's another snow storm outside even though we just had 34.5 inches of snow over the weekend. Excessive much? Also, all government offices and the library is closed. WTF am I supposed to do with my time????
Clearly I brought the snow with me from Minnesota ...in my carry-on.

WHO DAT Say They Gon Beat Them Saints?!!

No One.

We Are the Champions

Saints are the Super Bowl Champions 2010. Who could have predicted I would use all those words in the same sentence until that win last night. That decisive, controversy-less, NON-Field Goal win.

For a moment I remembered the loss in 2006 to the Chicago Bears in the NFC championship. We were so close. Everyone felt victory being within fingers grasp. I read an article on espn a week later about the team and the city that made me cry. It was about those who had lost their home after the hurricane and got their hope from watching the Saints play. It was about Katrina. It was about New Orleans. It was about everything we had all gone through evacuating months ago.
It was beautiful.



This is why last night was redemption. Last night we made the nation BELIEVE in New Orleans, believe that we would make a come back.

New Orleans Always Believed. This is for everyone who evacuated in 2005. For everyone who came back. For everyone who went to New Orleans, fell in love, and never recovered their heart.

I believe.
I believe in Who Dat Nation. I believe in New Orleans. I believe in the Saints.

(NOT) Wanted: Date for Valentine's Day

I hate this time of the year because of the TV commercials, and due to my newfound job-less status, I am seeing more commercials than ever. All the commercials are about losing weight or finding love, which makes me feel terrible and single as I sat on the couch scarfing down ice-cream. I should be relishing the fact that the super bowl is 3 days away and my team is there for the first time, or that it's basketball season and Kentucky is good for the first time in forever (yeah, I've liked them for years now, not sure why). Instead, I'm caught up on the fact that I will be single on Valentine's Day, again.

I have never had a boyfriend on Valentine's Day. I am not even sure what having a boyfriend for V-Day means. I'm assuming it means flowers or chocolates or hyped up dinner reservations. For some reason, for me relationship season is between September and December. Almost all my relationships have an expiration date in December, whether it be due to a change in colleges or pressure from the holiday season who knows.

The good part about being single on Valentines Day is the following: as a male, it's cheaper. As a female, there's less pressure. You get to choose who to go home with. Two years ago I did sake bombing with my girls. Last year I went to Das Klub III (UVA law school's Feb Club annual Euro Trash party). It's far better being single than having a significant other who I considered "okay" at best. It would be great to have a guy to spend time with on VD, even if that's staying in and watching a basketball game on the couch and giggling and stealing kisses, but that's an ideal day for me no matter what, and I don't think we need a Hallmark holiday to get those kinds of magical days/dates.

I think what I'm trying to say is, it's okay to be single for Valentines Day. Much better than settling for someone you don't want to spend $100 for dinner and flowers for or spreading your legs for and wondering whats on your todo list for the day while someone is in between. Settling is worse than being alone.


I just got asked by an old friend who's currently traveling around for me to join in traveling around South America this fall. I asked her what I should plan on needing should I choose to join her. Her response (and I quote): passport, visas, $$$$, condoms.


You see, that's the fabulous life of a girl single, unemployed, and with everything to look forward to in the future and no restrictions. With any luck, come September I'll either choose to stay in New Orleans because of love: for my job and the city, or for a man and the city, or travel around like a vagabond without a care in the world. Either option seems pretty freaking fantastic.

An ode to J.D.Salinger

J.D.Salinger, a gifted, poetically crass American author well-known for "The Catcher in the Rye" passed away today. That was one of my favorite books I read in high school, though I could not quite put my finger on why. I think it is his honest realistic depiction of teen angst, life angst, and what may as well have been a mid-life crisis.

I think it is only apt for me to throw in a Salinger quote to start off blogging in the new year.

"What I was really hanging around for, I was trying to feel some kind of a good-by. I mean I've left schools and places I didn't even know I was leaving them. I hate that. I don't care if it's a sad good-by or a bad good-by, but when I leave a place I like to know I'm leaving it. If you don't, you feel even worse." - The Catcher in the Rye

or two....

"I don't even know what I was running for - I guess I just felt like it."
The Catcher in the Rye


The first one I like because I hate goodbyes. I just packed up my place in Minneapolis (yes, short stint indeed) and realized what I am so terrible at packing. Well, first off its because I have a short attention span and can't focus on getting done parts of a room at a time. But more importantly, I really hate goodbyes and leaving somewhere. Although Minnesota was easier to leave than most places I have lived, there were still people there I wish I didn't have to say bye to, but that's life. Leaving people behind is kind of what I've been doing for years now.


Which leads to quote number 2, a bit of a good description of the way I was feeling a few days ago. I feel slightly home-less, slightly goal-less, and therefore, slightly dream-less as of late. I want to say it will get better when I settle down, but I may not settle down for another year, if that. In a year I could be in New Orleans, NYC, Washington DC, California, or just about any other semi-warm semi-large city in the country. That kind of uncertainty is scary, because it brings me back to the way I was post-Katrina: unsure of where I'd be, where I'd be graduating from, what I planned on doing. Hopefully I'll have my feet on more solid ground in a year