Are white men bad lovers?

Now, before you go all racist on me, understand that the last four men I have dated have been white. Very very Irish and/or Polish white. That's quite white. But before that, I dated a Dominican. Some time prior to that- high school actually- I dated a Pakistani guy for three months. It only lasted three months because we didn't see each other the last two, but that is beyond the point. So after a three year hiatus from men of color, interjected by the occasional making out or fling that lasts a few weeks at most, I have rediscovered....NOT SUPER WHITE men. NSW will be the term I use to describe "men of color", because I am not fully comfortable calling them "men of color". It sounds like something you pick out of a catalog or a type of flower or a gay musical band (men of color...colorful men...you don't see it?!). Back to NSW.

A good friend of mine is also very white. Female, redhead naturally, but very white. Gorgeous, thin, intelligent very white girl who loves "brown men" (that is her term for it). We got along well, because I would immediately know what men she was making eyes at, and she would let me have the rest. All the super white men that roam the grounds of University of Virginia (trust me there are a lot). After accounting for the white men and the Asian men (neither of our types), there aren't a lot of "brown men" left. However, between our combined experience with men, a lot of men, many different kinds of men, I feel that we have some type of expertise. In fact, if I could get a degree in men, I would have gotten my PhD by now.

So what makes the NSW better in bed? We are assuming all other things have been kept constant. Okay, upon closer there was one standout. The man who was in love with a stripper. Yes, I dated a man (okay, dating was not official but with more than half our classes together, 2 study groups, a mutual friend group/drinking buddies, I think I can count it as dating). Irrelevant. Point is, he was good. Really good. He figured out things about my body that my last boyfriend, the one I had been in love with, couldn't in 7 months. He did that in the first few weeks. He had the blessing of the totally slutty first girlfriend who obviously knew how to move certain body parts in certain ways and must have trained him to know where important things (spots) were located. By the way, I think as a public service all women should teach their boyfriends and lovers where certain things are located, if not just for ourselves, but for womenkind in general. The technical skills expertise obviously set him apart, so he shall be excluded for our observations.

NSW put care into what they are doing. This starts with greater effort, but carries forth to the execution part too. These are guys who learned, who were taught, to appreciate women. They appreciate very single body part of the female and aren't afraid of saying "you look amazing" in bed. The white male ideal of masculinity makes it hard for a guy to say the words "you look amazing" or even concentrate on a girl in a bed- it's all about them. I'm sure most women don't notice, or just assume it's their fault. But after a very very amazing New Years where I discovered that I have been dating (and sleeping with) all the wrong men, I realized that I have to wait for the one that makes me feel wonderful, clothes on or off.