Cosmo runs articles once every few months or so (less common than their monthly rewrite of "how to keep your man happy by doing weird kinky things in bed") about secrets of happy couples. They talk about how you have to keep your significant other happy by reminding him of how sexy you think he is, putting out in bed, not being spiteful during fights. Happy couples apparently always try to be kind to one another, take time out of their busy work lives to reconnect, try not to say mean things during fights, and make lots of time for love-making to keep the "spark".
This brings me to the newest phenomenon in dating: "Faking it on Facebook". Dear fake happy couples, stop putting up pictures of "the unit" in your profile pictures, talking about how happy you are that you are dating the person in your status, announcing anniversaries and talking about how you are looking forward to more in your statuses, and in general announcing every little thing that your significant other has done for you or bought for you ever. Please also stop with the vacation albums where you stand in front of exceedingly touristy landmarks and pose as if this may end up on your future wedding invitations, because you're probably not engaged yet. Statistically, you probably won't end up engaged to everyone you take these types of pictures with, they will just stay with you in your bedroom as reminders of what didn't work, what you could have done differently, the good times, and eventually lead to a mental breakdown of sorts if you choose not to do the healthy thing and burn them in the fireplace or feed them to your ex's dog when they're not looking.
The reason these "happy couples" need to stop publicizing their relationship is as follows:
1. Usually, if I know anything about the people in couples pictures showing coupley bliss, I know that they're miserable, insecure in their relationships, have trust issues, cheat on each other constantly, and fight continuously in between shots (the pictures kind, not the drinking kind - which may make them nicer and happier)
2. No one cares.
3. It makes breakups via facebook relationship status ---> single super embarrassing.
4. Makes single friends feel bad for not having someone to take cheesy pictures with
5. It's a coverup that most therapists would agree is unhealthy.
6. See #2.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Today
Today: I watched the New Orleans Saint's Super Bowl Parade through the Central Business District of New Orleans on two forms of media (both on TV and a live stream on my computer). Teared up a bit thinking about the city.
Today: I watched an Indian movie with the family about life and school and doing things your own way. Somehow, even though it was my first Indian movie in years, it's just the kind of movie I needed.
Today: I failed (again) to unpack my boxes from moving
Today: I considered how ridiculous it is that there's another snow storm outside even though we just had 34.5 inches of snow over the weekend. Excessive much? Also, all government offices and the library is closed. WTF am I supposed to do with my time????
Clearly I brought the snow with me from Minnesota ...in my carry-on.
Today: I watched an Indian movie with the family about life and school and doing things your own way. Somehow, even though it was my first Indian movie in years, it's just the kind of movie I needed.
Today: I failed (again) to unpack my boxes from moving
Today: I considered how ridiculous it is that there's another snow storm outside even though we just had 34.5 inches of snow over the weekend. Excessive much? Also, all government offices and the library is closed. WTF am I supposed to do with my time????
Clearly I brought the snow with me from Minnesota ...in my carry-on.
Monday, February 8, 2010
WHO DAT Say They Gon Beat Them Saints?!!
No One.
We Are the Champions
Saints are the Super Bowl Champions 2010. Who could have predicted I would use all those words in the same sentence until that win last night. That decisive, controversy-less, NON-Field Goal win.
For a moment I remembered the loss in 2006 to the Chicago Bears in the NFC championship. We were so close. Everyone felt victory being within fingers grasp. I read an article on espn a week later about the team and the city that made me cry. It was about those who had lost their home after the hurricane and got their hope from watching the Saints play. It was about Katrina. It was about New Orleans. It was about everything we had all gone through evacuating months ago.
It was beautiful.
This is why last night was redemption. Last night we made the nation BELIEVE in New Orleans, believe that we would make a come back.
New Orleans Always Believed. This is for everyone who evacuated in 2005. For everyone who came back. For everyone who went to New Orleans, fell in love, and never recovered their heart.
I believe.
I believe in Who Dat Nation. I believe in New Orleans. I believe in the Saints.
I believe in Who Dat Nation. I believe in New Orleans. I believe in the Saints.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
(NOT) Wanted: Date for Valentine's Day
I hate this time of the year because of the TV commercials, and due to my newfound job-less status, I am seeing more commercials than ever. All the commercials are about losing weight or finding love, which makes me feel terrible and single as I sat on the couch scarfing down ice-cream. I should be relishing the fact that the super bowl is 3 days away and my team is there for the first time, or that it's basketball season and Kentucky is good for the first time in forever (yeah, I've liked them for years now, not sure why). Instead, I'm caught up on the fact that I will be single on Valentine's Day, again.
I have never had a boyfriend on Valentine's Day. I am not even sure what having a boyfriend for V-Day means. I'm assuming it means flowers or chocolates or hyped up dinner reservations. For some reason, for me relationship season is between September and December. Almost all my relationships have an expiration date in December, whether it be due to a change in colleges or pressure from the holiday season who knows.
The good part about being single on Valentines Day is the following: as a male, it's cheaper. As a female, there's less pressure. You get to choose who to go home with. Two years ago I did sake bombing with my girls. Last year I went to Das Klub III (UVA law school's Feb Club annual Euro Trash party). It's far better being single than having a significant other who I considered "okay" at best. It would be great to have a guy to spend time with on VD, even if that's staying in and watching a basketball game on the couch and giggling and stealing kisses, but that's an ideal day for me no matter what, and I don't think we need a Hallmark holiday to get those kinds of magical days/dates.
I think what I'm trying to say is, it's okay to be single for Valentines Day. Much better than settling for someone you don't want to spend $100 for dinner and flowers for or spreading your legs for and wondering whats on your todo list for the day while someone is in between. Settling is worse than being alone.
I just got asked by an old friend who's currently traveling around for me to join in traveling around South America this fall. I asked her what I should plan on needing should I choose to join her. Her response (and I quote): passport, visas, $$$$, condoms.
You see, that's the fabulous life of a girl single, unemployed, and with everything to look forward to in the future and no restrictions. With any luck, come September I'll either choose to stay in New Orleans because of love: for my job and the city, or for a man and the city, or travel around like a vagabond without a care in the world. Either option seems pretty freaking fantastic.
I have never had a boyfriend on Valentine's Day. I am not even sure what having a boyfriend for V-Day means. I'm assuming it means flowers or chocolates or hyped up dinner reservations. For some reason, for me relationship season is between September and December. Almost all my relationships have an expiration date in December, whether it be due to a change in colleges or pressure from the holiday season who knows.
The good part about being single on Valentines Day is the following: as a male, it's cheaper. As a female, there's less pressure. You get to choose who to go home with. Two years ago I did sake bombing with my girls. Last year I went to Das Klub III (UVA law school's Feb Club annual Euro Trash party). It's far better being single than having a significant other who I considered "okay" at best. It would be great to have a guy to spend time with on VD, even if that's staying in and watching a basketball game on the couch and giggling and stealing kisses, but that's an ideal day for me no matter what, and I don't think we need a Hallmark holiday to get those kinds of magical days/dates.
I think what I'm trying to say is, it's okay to be single for Valentines Day. Much better than settling for someone you don't want to spend $100 for dinner and flowers for or spreading your legs for and wondering whats on your todo list for the day while someone is in between. Settling is worse than being alone.
I just got asked by an old friend who's currently traveling around for me to join in traveling around South America this fall. I asked her what I should plan on needing should I choose to join her. Her response (and I quote): passport, visas, $$$$, condoms.
You see, that's the fabulous life of a girl single, unemployed, and with everything to look forward to in the future and no restrictions. With any luck, come September I'll either choose to stay in New Orleans because of love: for my job and the city, or for a man and the city, or travel around like a vagabond without a care in the world. Either option seems pretty freaking fantastic.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
An ode to J.D.Salinger
J.D.Salinger, a gifted, poetically crass American author well-known for "The Catcher in the Rye" passed away today. That was one of my favorite books I read in high school, though I could not quite put my finger on why. I think it is his honest realistic depiction of teen angst, life angst, and what may as well have been a mid-life crisis.
I think it is only apt for me to throw in a Salinger quote to start off blogging in the new year.
"What I was really hanging around for, I was trying to feel some kind of a good-by. I mean I've left schools and places I didn't even know I was leaving them. I hate that. I don't care if it's a sad good-by or a bad good-by, but when I leave a place I like to know I'm leaving it. If you don't, you feel even worse." - The Catcher in the Rye
or two....
"I don't even know what I was running for - I guess I just felt like it."
The Catcher in the Rye
The first one I like because I hate goodbyes. I just packed up my place in Minneapolis (yes, short stint indeed) and realized what I am so terrible at packing. Well, first off its because I have a short attention span and can't focus on getting done parts of a room at a time. But more importantly, I really hate goodbyes and leaving somewhere. Although Minnesota was easier to leave than most places I have lived, there were still people there I wish I didn't have to say bye to, but that's life. Leaving people behind is kind of what I've been doing for years now.
Which leads to quote number 2, a bit of a good description of the way I was feeling a few days ago. I feel slightly home-less, slightly goal-less, and therefore, slightly dream-less as of late. I want to say it will get better when I settle down, but I may not settle down for another year, if that. In a year I could be in New Orleans, NYC, Washington DC, California, or just about any other semi-warm semi-large city in the country. That kind of uncertainty is scary, because it brings me back to the way I was post-Katrina: unsure of where I'd be, where I'd be graduating from, what I planned on doing. Hopefully I'll have my feet on more solid ground in a year
I think it is only apt for me to throw in a Salinger quote to start off blogging in the new year.
"What I was really hanging around for, I was trying to feel some kind of a good-by. I mean I've left schools and places I didn't even know I was leaving them. I hate that. I don't care if it's a sad good-by or a bad good-by, but when I leave a place I like to know I'm leaving it. If you don't, you feel even worse." - The Catcher in the Rye
or two....
"I don't even know what I was running for - I guess I just felt like it."
The Catcher in the Rye
The first one I like because I hate goodbyes. I just packed up my place in Minneapolis (yes, short stint indeed) and realized what I am so terrible at packing. Well, first off its because I have a short attention span and can't focus on getting done parts of a room at a time. But more importantly, I really hate goodbyes and leaving somewhere. Although Minnesota was easier to leave than most places I have lived, there were still people there I wish I didn't have to say bye to, but that's life. Leaving people behind is kind of what I've been doing for years now.
Which leads to quote number 2, a bit of a good description of the way I was feeling a few days ago. I feel slightly home-less, slightly goal-less, and therefore, slightly dream-less as of late. I want to say it will get better when I settle down, but I may not settle down for another year, if that. In a year I could be in New Orleans, NYC, Washington DC, California, or just about any other semi-warm semi-large city in the country. That kind of uncertainty is scary, because it brings me back to the way I was post-Katrina: unsure of where I'd be, where I'd be graduating from, what I planned on doing. Hopefully I'll have my feet on more solid ground in a year
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Are men getting sketchier, or have I just started paying attention?
The other night I found myself chatting on Facebook chat with an ex boyfriend and a former mini-fling. I stopped the mini-fling when I found out that he had a girlfriend. Both wanted to "see me" whenever I was in town. Both have serious girlfriends.
Last night I heard a story about a guy who I considered a good guy, even "marriage material" because he seemed non-sketchy. In fact, he'd had sex with 2 girls by the time he graduated from college. No drugs. Close to family. No criminal record. Recently however, he did E, with a girl who his roommate from college of 3 years (and good friend) really likes. That's two faux pas: crazy drug use, and potentially doing sketchy things with a good friend's crush.
When I was in China studying abroad, my roommate got "very close" to another guy studying abroad with us, who had been with his girl friend for 3 years. He was necking my roommate on the dance floor while his girl friend was back home probably missing him a lot. He was also one of my favorite classmates and one of the least likely to cheat, or so I thought.
Have the character of people dropped like the value of our 401K?
Everywhere I look there are guys of all types: the nice guy, the guy next door, the guy who should be old enough to know better, the successful guys, the ones who behaved in college....who are commiting major relationship faux-pas with friends and significant others. Lying is bad, but lying to the degree that I have seen recently is absolutely abhorrant.
I have read that cheating is fairly prevalent, but seeing these real life examples of men who should be trust-worthy try to cheat on their mediocre to fabulous girlfriends makes me wonder if I even want to be in a relationship.
Ironically, people are getting sketchier as my own sketchiness has dropped off into "normal" to "boring" territory haha. I have always thought that people get less sketchy and less morally "grey" as they get older, but what I am seeing clearly contradicts this. Whether you want to blame the economy, Obama's healthcare plan, the crazy republicans, El Nino, or young people and their rap music, something is clearly amiss.
Last night I heard a story about a guy who I considered a good guy, even "marriage material" because he seemed non-sketchy. In fact, he'd had sex with 2 girls by the time he graduated from college. No drugs. Close to family. No criminal record. Recently however, he did E, with a girl who his roommate from college of 3 years (and good friend) really likes. That's two faux pas: crazy drug use, and potentially doing sketchy things with a good friend's crush.
When I was in China studying abroad, my roommate got "very close" to another guy studying abroad with us, who had been with his girl friend for 3 years. He was necking my roommate on the dance floor while his girl friend was back home probably missing him a lot. He was also one of my favorite classmates and one of the least likely to cheat, or so I thought.
Have the character of people dropped like the value of our 401K?
Everywhere I look there are guys of all types: the nice guy, the guy next door, the guy who should be old enough to know better, the successful guys, the ones who behaved in college....who are commiting major relationship faux-pas with friends and significant others. Lying is bad, but lying to the degree that I have seen recently is absolutely abhorrant.
I have read that cheating is fairly prevalent, but seeing these real life examples of men who should be trust-worthy try to cheat on their mediocre to fabulous girlfriends makes me wonder if I even want to be in a relationship.
Ironically, people are getting sketchier as my own sketchiness has dropped off into "normal" to "boring" territory haha. I have always thought that people get less sketchy and less morally "grey" as they get older, but what I am seeing clearly contradicts this. Whether you want to blame the economy, Obama's healthcare plan, the crazy republicans, El Nino, or young people and their rap music, something is clearly amiss.
Friday, September 4, 2009
The Dark Side of Education
Student Loans.
Currently my student loans are only about 50% higher than what the average person in the US makes per year. Somehow this ends up equaling a repayment amount higher than my monthly rent if I go with the longer 30 year repayment option. It's about $1000 per month if I go with the standard 10 year loan period.
Are you kidding me???
For that amount of money I could spend a week in the Caribbean every month, buy a pair of Louboutin shoes every month, get an apartment twice the size of my current apartment, be a sugar mamma to a struggling model/actor, go to Vegas once a month and gamble profusely, support a small midget population living in my larger closet in my larger apartment...the list goes on.
I am not happy about this loan payment business.
Currently my student loans are only about 50% higher than what the average person in the US makes per year. Somehow this ends up equaling a repayment amount higher than my monthly rent if I go with the longer 30 year repayment option. It's about $1000 per month if I go with the standard 10 year loan period.
Are you kidding me???
For that amount of money I could spend a week in the Caribbean every month, buy a pair of Louboutin shoes every month, get an apartment twice the size of my current apartment, be a sugar mamma to a struggling model/actor, go to Vegas once a month and gamble profusely, support a small midget population living in my larger closet in my larger apartment...the list goes on.
I am not happy about this loan payment business.
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