About the fish and the sea

The match.com experiment has ended, for now.

My roommate-to-be in 8 days pointed out, "the cool girls are not that cute". Though the "many fish in the sea" metaphor seems great and all, I don't think there are that many date-able guys "in the sea". Actually I've put the number of dateable people closer to 8% (total guesstimate). And that does not even take physical attraction and similar interests into account. There just are not that many attractive people in this world in general. I think the college pool was skewed.

Part of my problem is that I just have a very specific type that can't be determined by anything on an online dating profile. I feel that if I had run into any of the guys I liked on an online dating site, I would have immediately found something to dismiss them without thinking twice. For starters, most of the guys I've had an intense connection with weren't my physical type when we first met. Then there's the nitpicking. Facial hair, tattoos, balding head, works too much, in love with strippers, (unfortunately theres TWO guys I've dated who fall into this category-- should I be concerned?), too short, does not go to a reputable university or even a non-community college university, and the list goes on. Okay, not all of these are characteristics of men I have dated in the past, but I thought I would sprinkle in some of my non-negotiable would-never-date em traits so guys of my past who may discover this blog won't know which ones are legit.

It's hard to label the type of chemistry that makes two people fall head over heels for each other, blow off friends, life, forget what time of day it is and just live in a constant state of blissful floating (you know what I'm talking about). I think it's almost impossible to try to figure out who gives us these "feelings" because we all inevitably always choose the wrong person.

Take the "Tale of the Two Nicks" for example.

I had a friend, who shall remain unnamed, who was seeing a guy named Nick (let's refer to him as Nick 1). Nick 1 was far from "ideal". In fact he was young, with a record, working in a gay club, skateboarding by day, hanging out with 'the bad kids in town' and in general was from the other side of the tracks. He was also remarkably honest, charismatic, sweet-natured, and good - looking in a could-be-in-a-early-2000s-boyband kinda way. He was not in college, worked odd jobs, didn't have a car, and once was homeless.
Then there was Nick 2. About to graduate from UVA Law. Great manners. Well versed in food and wine. Tall. Handsome. Lived in a swanky apartment downtown.

Guess which one my friend chose?


This isn't just the story of Two Nicks. This is the story of all of us. How many of us who don't have the constant "need" to be in a relationship actually end up with the guy who's good on paper? What about the guy who'll treat us right? Hell, what about the guy who actually likes us?


A part of me, for once, wants to end up with the guy who likes me, who is good on paper, takes me out and wines and dines me. I'm not sure if I am mature enough for that yet. I think I'd rather take my chances on the guys that make me forget what day of the week it is. The one who makes me stay in bed while on the beaches of Southern Thailand because I'd rather lie there with him discussing absolutely nothing important. I think that's a problem most women have. We care to much about the sensual pleasures (pleasure of the senses). We want to "feel" that certain way. We want the romance. We want to dream about the life we may never have.


I would personally just rather not settle. A close friend once said that he did not see me as having a serious boyfriend until I was 30, and he was much older. Though I don't believe that to be true, dating just for the sake of dating is not my cup of tea.
And for that, I bid online dating adieu.

For now.